How to Talk to Your Spouse About Money

A middle-aged white man and woman looking up. Man is holding a phone and a woman a yellow credit card. Money and marriage.

I’ve had the opportunity to counsel more than a thousand couples dealing with financial challenges in their marriage. 

These challenges often exert major pressure and can even fracture the husband-wife relationship.

Many couples don’t begin a conversation about money unless a problem has surfaced. By then, the panic button has already been punched. That’s when tension can reach the boiling point in a hurry and blame and defensiveness take over.

To help build a stronger marriage, I recommend that couples have a weekly money date!

The purpose for the money dates is to discover their financial facts—income, spending, debt and saving. They are important, because they establish a habit of regular financial conversations when there is no crisis. These weekly money dates are a time for the couple to focus on their finances by praying together, reviewing their income and spending for the week, and celebrating progress the Lord has enabled them to make.

Here are the ground rules: no arguments, nagging or accusations! 

Jesus makes this remarkable promise in Matthew 18:19-20: “If two of you agree on earth about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them.”

When a couple prays together about their finances, they invite the God of the universe to be personally involved with their earning and spending. 

So, make praying together be the FIRST thing you do on your money date. 

In Love,

Howard Dayton


About the Author

Howard Dayton graduated from Cornell University and served two and a half years as a naval officer. After developing a railroad-themed restaurant in Orlando, Florida, Howard began his commercial real estate development career in 1972, specializing in office development. 

After a business partner challenged him to study the Bible to discover what God teaches about handling money, Howard’s life was profoundly changed. The Lord gave him a passion to share these life-changing principles, resulting in the authorship of five books, Your Money Counts, Free and Clear, Your Money Map, Money and Marriage God’s Way, and Business God’s Way. He also has authored six small group studies, including Charting Your Legacy. 

Howard founded Crown Ministries in 1985, which merged with Larry Burkett’s ministry in 2000 to form Crown Financial Ministries. During his tenure as CEO, Crown taught more than 50 million people in 88 countries. Howard transitioned from Crown, and in 2009, founded Compass Financial Ministry. Compass currently serves in 85 countries. Since beginning in ministry, he has served as a full-time volunteer. 

Howard married Beverly in 1971, and they have two children and four grandchildren. Beverly went Home to be with the Lord after a courageous five-year journey fighting breast and bone cancer. Howard married Lynn in 2019. They reside in Central Florida and Charleston, South Carolina. He has led more than 75 financial small groups. 

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